I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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