Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
