she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
