Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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