No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
