Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
