Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
wakey wakey hands off snakey
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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