There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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