Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
