He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
