Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
