I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
