She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
