Welp...herpes.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
