We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize