Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
