My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
