I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize