i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
