I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
