the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
