I met the friendliest cop last night
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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