So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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