Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
