a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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