Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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