If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
