I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
