That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Less talking, more tequila
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
