Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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