We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
