I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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