dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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