My hair reeks of homosexuality.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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