Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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