My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Floor bacon is actually really good
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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