Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
