What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
