I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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