you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Randomize
