Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
