I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize