That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
