Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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