That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
