I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
