Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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