Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
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