Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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