I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
