new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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