Only a mothe r could love this liver
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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