He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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