i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
