Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
