the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize