Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
