I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
