hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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