Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
